Your pillows are stand with my dreams.
Did I sleep to sweety that you cant seem find your self alone at night?
Did we kiss to deeply that I wont ever be able to rub the echo of your moth from my lips?
Will I always feel your hands tauching me through others flesh?
Did we fall into each other eyes?
Do you still hold me in you?
I feel you in me but I’m letting my hold slide now you simply hang from my heart now.
I have forgotten how to cradle you because the pain you inspired in me is the last preasent you gave me.
Did you wash their honey from your tighs before you dept into mine?
You have such a hunger for sweetness and yet you act with the bitterness you perhaps were drawnd in.
Who left you all alone?
I wish youd let me in.
I wish you trusted me so you didn’t have to lie.
Iv told you the truth Iv lived the truth with you thats why I fell so hard.
Your skin was so soft, my lips loved to brush against your cheeks. I wanted to eat your face and never spit it out.
When did we begane to crumble?
Or did we flak.
You flaked I crumbled.
I crumbled from your flaks they were to hevy on my heart.
I dasenagrated back into myself.
Back into my world, my home….alone.

I am riding a bike with you.
I am riding a bike with you to let you in, to show you my weakness.
I am riding a bike with you because I want to let the butterflys you give me fly above the ground.
I am riding a bike with you and were laughing out the sun that’s burning our skine, were sweating out the tears that we cant cry and smileing at our wheeping. I feel your heart beat through the air and I see your blood all around and inside my eyes. I feel you envade my world as I hand you a invataion to enter. We never run out of breath for its not air that we breath. We enhale life and find we are killing our death with the growing friendship we are paddling hard up hill for.  

All at once I am hungry. I want to eat life and live fully. I hate dullness and boredum. Id like it just go away and I think it shale be nice enough to do so if I simply take the time to have a advenchers and create fun. I cant wait to travel. I cant wait for San Fran. I want to hang out with seagods.

 I believe this journal will be far better when I can actshuly walk and go out and about liveing things to write about. But not living them to write them of course. That be strange and silly.

 Laying long on whormed sheets I open the drowrs in my mind. I smile when I remember all the treashers I have found and saved for the futer and to always have the past. I have taken photos of your eyes with min and recorded our conversations with my ears. Sometimes the songs that we sung become a little blurry and I cant make out the lyrics we are saying but I can recall the meaning. I can remember what it created for our lifes.  I find joy when I remember all the antiqic jewelry in the windos of the stores scatterd around Amsterdam and that one shop the shop that’s my perfect setting; a room a place that mires all my desires for the world. It holds treashers from so meny different times. So meny storys in the crumbeling fabric of the cloths hanging from cold metal or plush velvet hangers…the spirel stair case the old art ageing into the fullest patenchul of beauty.